The Dark Prognosticus

I’ve got diffuse and specular lighting, reflection, refraction, and FSAA. On the list : Soft shadows, diffuse reflections, textures, and models.

I don’t care what your plate says. If you aren’t handicapped, don’t park in the space. If you’re driving a handicapped person around, and they aren’t getting out of the car, don’t park in the space. If your handicap is that you’re a fat ass, don’t park in the space. Park farther away. Or better yet, don’t go to the fucking grocery store. Fat ass.

Why the hell should they get the best spaces just because they don’t have legs or whatever, anyway? People with real handicaps don’t drive anyway, they don’t need no fucking special spaces. And then there’s all those times the parking lot is full, except for like fifty handicapped spaces right in the front. Are there going to be fifty handicapped people there at once? Have they ever been before?

And why the fuck is there a handicapped space at the skating rink?

I’m quite a good cook. Though, my only judge of my creations is myself. It’s entirely possible that they are gross, and I just like gross things. At any rate, they are better than these bacon-cheese-fry things I had today which were so awful they were good. Tasted nothing like bacon; charcoal, maybe.

So here is a recipe for beer-braised steak and noodles in garlic and Parmesan.

First, cook some noodles.
Next, braise your steak. This is dead simple. Get a frying pan, and pour some beer in it. I use Corona. Anything will work, but I recommend a malt. Different beers give different flavors, obviously. Don’t use the whole bottle, you’ll need it in a bit. Heat it up until it sizzles, then cook your steak in it. It should be nice and juicy and tender and delicious. If it’s not, well, you suck.
Take the steak out of the pan. Don’t pour out the mess. Keep it on the heat, sizzling away, and add some garlic. Add any other spices you want now. Cinnamon and Cayenne Pepper work well. Add some butter, and swish the pan until it melts. Now finally you get to add the Parmesan. Don’t be stingy, and keep the heat on and the swish going so it melts. Add some more of that beer if it gets to thick.
Now spread that sauce over your noodles and serve it with the steak. Delicious.

If you don’t know how to swish a pan, well. You just pick it up and shake it back and forth so the stuff inside swishes. Really, you should know that. Dumb ass.